The Broke Bloke Muses: Almost-Chicken Flavor Ramen

First things first, no, I'm not dead.  I have, however, been working on getting my first book published, which it has been.  YAY!  You can check it out at this fancy link here, if you'd like, or ignore it completely.  If you ignore it, however, I do reserve the right to hunt you down and fill your ears with potted meat while you sleep.  Which is far more disgusting than it sounds.  (I can attest to this from personal experience.)

So I recently (read: 40 minutes ago) came up with an idea in an attempt to improve the flavor of that wonderful broke-people staple, ramen noodles.  You know you've had them before, and if you haven't, then you're missing out on one of the most terrifying amazing creations known to man.

I refer to it as "almost chicken" flavor for the rather obvious reason that it "almost" tastes like chicken.  (Do not confuse this with the Roast Chicken flavor, which is actually pretty decent.)  Easily one of the nastiest flavors of ramen to this amazing humble writer's taste palate, almost nothing can redeem it's nauseatingly salty aftertaste and disturbing, too-yellow color.  These are the ramen packages I use when I want the noodles and nothing else, and the seasoning packet goes in the trash.

But I digress.  My idea was simple:  combine several other things I have on-hand in an attempt to improve the flavor of Almost Chicken.  This is what I came up with:

Yes, this means I put Szechuan style peppers and gag Vienna Sausages into a prepared pack of Almost Chicken flavor ramen.  The results were... surprising, actually.

1. The Szechuan peppers, while great on their own and in other ramen flavors, did literally nothing to mask the suck that was Almost Chicken.
2. Vienna sausages, even rinsed of their vaguely animal-product-like canning goo, also did not improve the suck factor.
3. However, the Szechuan-infused faux-poultry broth did improve the flavor of the Vienna sausages, making them actually palatable.
4. Note that I said "palatable" and not "good."

So the next time you're browsing about your kitchen, wondering what you could possibly do to improve the flavor of that one lone orange pack of noodles that you're trying to use up before they expire but don't really want to, keep this little tidbit in mind.  Save your peppers.