According
to the file date on this picture I took, I ate these, like, almost two weeks
ago. And haven’t written about them
yet. Yeah, I’m slacking, especially
since I’ve made another two posts
since then. Life happens and/or I’m a
slacker.
So I’ve
seen them several times on the windows of Taco Bell as I drove by, and told
myself, “Self! That’s creative
photography. The XXL Nachos aren’t going
to be that big. Just a fancy version of
a Nachos BellGrande.” That’s what I
said, at least, until I got the order and they had to bust out a special bag
and hold it sideways to get it through the tiny drive through window. Observe:
XXL Nacho Glory
There’s no
camera tricks in that shot. My pinky is
actually touching the plastic base.
These things are friggin’ huge quite large by fast food portion
standards. I’d bet two “normal people” could share an
order and be quite happy with the results, and there’s no shortage of cheese,
both nacho and shredded.
Just make
sure you wash your hands, first. Or be
a preppy wuss and use a fork.
I know you’re
probably expecting some enlightening and witty commentary on how good they
are. Well, for Taco Bell, they’re pretty
danged good. The fact that there’s over
a pound on that tray lends itself absolutely no bias to my gluttonous
opinion. The truth of the matter is, it’s
standard chips, TB guac, sour cream, TB “beef” (or steak or chicken, depending
on which one you order), sour cream, refried beans, nacho cheese sauce, the
cheddar/jack shredded blend, and some fancy-lookin’ pico de gallo.
If you
didn’t like Taco Bell beforehand, this isn’t going to be some manna-from-heaven
specially blended mixture that’ll convert you into a tacobellian. (For that, go to Salsarita’s.) On the other hand, if you are already a
semi-regular partaker of the Fourthmeal, and like nachos, then this needs to be
on your to-try list. Eat all the
goodies. All of them. THINK OUTSIDE THE BUN. And all that noise.
Key
differences between the XXL Nachos and the BellGrande:
1.) Guac and pico come STANDAD on the XXL. (Shout-out to CrandyBole for pointing out the typo. -Ed.)
2.) There’s like, a pantload more in the
XXL.
3.) They’re called “XXL Nachos” in an attempt to
make you feel fatter than saying BellGrande.*
Cuz, that’s like, two more extras than the Spanish word for “big” alone. (Pfft.
Silly mortals, thinking that would dissuade me.)
4.) The tomatoes aren’t spread around on the XXL,
but rather clustered into a scoop of pico.
That doesn’t bother me, as it allows for more controlled mater
distribution on a per-chip basis.
5.) NEITHER OF THEM HAVE GREEN ONIONS. (wtf, TB?
Get with the game. Bring them
back!)
*this statement is not approved or
endorsed by whatever Buttweasel Legalhonker at Taco Bell wants to sue me for
making false claims. Get a sense of
humor.
And, for
you skinny-no-appetite-having types out there, the XXL’s are $4.99 for an
order. Split it with a friend and it’s
two fifty apiece. Can’t beat that. Those of you that can actually finish a
Triple Baconator (fancy link) might want to get a MexiMelt to go with it.
The Verdict
4/5. Pretty big and pretty good value for the
money, considering the hefty amount of toppings piled on. If they jack it up too much higher, though,
it’ll fall to a 3. Because, when all is
said and done, it is still Taco
Bell. This does not mean that I have not
eaten them several times already.
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