Let’s be
honest. At some point, we’re all wishing
we had a quick bite to eat while we’re dashing back and forth between the
various places, appointments, tricks, work, home, whatever in our daily
lives where we wish we could snag a bite to eat. And not always is there a restaurant or fast
food joint open. Thus, we’re stuck with
either a.) driving all the way home and fixing something, or b.) all-night
convenience store food.
The former
isn’t always feasible. The latter isn’t
always edible.
A while
back, I’ll freely admit, 7-Eleven’s sandwiches sucked like Lisa Lampanelli
in an NBA locker room were terrifyingly awful. Dry, flavorless, and depending on the
situation, you may or may not get to put condiments on them. Choking one down without a flavored beverage
of some kind was an ordeal you’d soon rather forget.
Then they
finally realized, “ohai, R sandwichz blow.”
Which is a good thing. That they realized it. Not that... oh, sod it, you get the idea.
Observe
this, the flagship of their lineup:
Smoked Turkey &
Jack Cheese on Wheat
First and
foremost, I’d like to point out the last two words in that caption. “On
Wheat.” Yes, I said wheat. Not white, French, Italian, four-cheese,
ciabatta, focaccia, none of that delicious stuff. WHEAT.
Yes, I’m voluntarily purchasing (and consuming, no less) a sandwich
served on wheat bread. And no, I’m not complaining about it, either.
Why? Because this thing is frickin’ amazing. Here, they’re $3.99 a pop, and worth the
whole lot. If it jumped to $4.99,
possibly even $5.99, I’d still get it.
Yeah, I said it. The wheat bread
is soft without disintegrating or being soggy, the turkey is juicy and tender
and flavorful, the Jack cheese – get this! – actually tastes like Monterey Jack, and it’s crowned off with a
zippy Southwestern Mayo which adds just a hint of spice. On the Taco Bell scale, it ranks somewhere in
the vicinity of “just below Mild” on the heat index, so those who don’t want a
volcano in between their buns (that’s what she said) can rest easy. The lettuce adds just the right amount of
crunch and textural difference to make the sandwich fly as a whole.
Oh, by the
by, each half has more meat on it than a whole $5 footlong at Subway. I checked.
And
they’re delivered fresh every single day, as far as I can tell. I’ve never seen a sandwich older than
“delivered this morning” on the shelves.
And I spend far, far too much time in 7-Eleven to be healthy. Let’s just say the employees at the one by my
house know me on a first-name basis. And
my daughter. And that my daughter likes
Wild Cherry Slurpees. And my cigarette
brand, flavor, and pack preferences. I
could go on, but I think you get the picture.
In short,
unless you’re vegetarian or vegan (and if you are, why are you reading this
blog? No, seriously. I’m curious.
Please leave it in the comments below), you need to get your hands on
one of these ‘wiches next time you’re at Sleven. Seriously.
Your colon will thank you.
The Verdict
5/5. I’d still buy these if the price went
up. However, that’s not a suggestion, if
you’re reading this, Sleven Corporate Drones.
I gotta agree with you man. These sandwiches in particular are ALWAYS the first to go at my local 7Elevens. As soon as 11am hits, those shelves are cleaned leaving nothing but tuna salad and plain turkey (nothing added) subs. The monterey jack turkey sandwiches are definetly worth heading to 7Eleven and picking one up early.
ReplyDelete