Monday, October 22, 2012

The Broke Bloke Gourmet: Let's Go Tupperware Diving!


suggested by Deena716.  Props be to her.


Sometimes, one of the most frightening things you can do is open your refrigerator.

Opening some of those plastic containers without proper protection, including (but not limited to) plastic gloves, respirators, goggles, and a full biochemical warfare suit, can result in anything from nauseating smells and loss of appetite to a full-blown mutant broccoli monster attack.

So, natch, I’m gonna go through a few ways to use some of those tidbits up, jazz ‘em up, and provide some helpful tips on chowing down on your leftovers before they turn into a 1950’s B-movie cast member.

Hambooger Helper
So, this one’s actually pretty easy.  According to the website, there are 27 varieties of Hamburger Helper currently in circulation.  It’s easy to get rid of these morsels, since they all taste like the same thing – salty goopy crap grown-up Chef Boyardee.  Which means you can do pretty much anything with it to resuscitate it or stretch it out again.  Here are some of my quick fixes.

·         spread butter/margarine on a hoagie roll, add garlic powder, and grill in a skillet until golden brown.  Smother the whole thing with Hambooger Helper that’s been zapped in microwave and eat it open-faced, or go greedy and eat it like a fancified sloppy joe.

·         Add the leftovers (nuked to heat through, of course) to a pot of Kraft Side Dish (I refuse to call it “dinner” on principle).  Seriously.  This works with any flavor of Double H and also makes your Side Dish last for a little more than two servings.  ‘Cuz we all know they’re smoking Skittles when they make those serving sizes.

·         stir it in to your leftover mashed potatoes and pretend it’s a Wawa bowl top it off with shredded cheese before zapping it in the nuker.


Leftover Cooked Chicken
How directly the hell did you manage to wind up with leftovers of this?  I could go on a completely separate diatribe on this topic.  Matter of fact, I think I will in the next installment of The Snarky Eyebrow.  Look for the fancy link here when it’s posted. 


Kraft Side Dish
Even though I mentioned it above, this deserves its own special segment.  This has got to be the easiest leftover to work with since plain white rice.  You can literally put almost anything into Kraft Side Dish.  Except toes.  Don’t ask, just trust me.  Frozen peas & carrots?  A can of tuna?  Congratulations, you just made ghetto Tuna Casserole.  Leftover lunch meat?  No problem. 

Seriously, you can even skip the heating-up step and crumble it over a green salad in place of cheese.  Before you look at me like I’m crazy, try it.  Soon you’ll be telling your friends to stop looking at you like you’re crazy.

(That’s best with Italian dressing, by the way.)

Personal favorite add-ins:

  • can of tuna (with or without peas & carrots)
  • quartered pepperoni slices
  • MOAR CHEEZ
  • Lay’s original potato chips (trust me)

Or if you’re willing to do a little more work, you can mix it well with leftover hash browns, smoosh it by hand to form patties, and fry ‘em up on a griddle to make your own cheesy tots.


Have a suggestion for a topic?  Something unidentifiable in the back of your fridge?  Submit it in the comments below, and I promise I won’t ignore it.  But only because I have no life to speak of.

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