Vol. 34: Domino's New Pan Pizza

So I forgot to take a lunch to work the other day.  And, naturally, I was starving within minutes of arrival.  This is nothing new.  Not being entirely sure of what I wanted to eat, however, is somewhat new.  Ish.

After perusing a number of online menus, I stumbled across an advertisement for Domino’s new Pan Pizza.  Crustless, with two layers of cheese and toppings all the way to the edge.  It aroused me piqued my interest.  And yes, I’ve been informed this has been advertised on television for weeks.  I don’t have TV, so I didn’t know.  Don’t judge me.  

The bottom line is I had completed the order for a $7.99 medium unicorn & rainbow sausage and mushroom pie before I realized I had even picked my toppings.  There was a minor incident where I nearly peeled a coworker’s face off with my teeth out of hunger because it took almost an hour to arrive - although, in Domino’s defense, it did say that it would take 56-66 minutes on the order confirmation - but that particular crisis was averted through the judicious application of Nutty Bars to my face.

And then, it had arrived, and there was much lewd pelvic thrusting rejoicing.  Or both.

On the box, I couldn’t help but notice the following:

At first glance, this box topper may illustrate why it took a sodding hour to get my grub, and appear to be nothing more than soliciting employees from their established customer base.  Fine, right?  Except the last bullet point, where it says “Hustling is a must.”

Really, Domino’s?  I’m all down for making your paper however you can and getting ahead of The Man, but I’d feel kind of awkward if Huggy Bear delivered my pizza.  I’m just sayin’.  Especially when it is immediately followed with “Domino’s Pizza is a drug free environment.”  Trying to find a drug-free hustla?  Next they’ll want an honest politician.  (Zing!)

Inside the actual box

Upon returning to my desk, I opened the box and molested inhaled a slice before realizing what had happened.  This is evidenced in the above picture, which shows that they weren’t kidding - there’s plenty of crispy burnt cheese on the edges (which is, like, foodie porn) and it has a nice balance of toppings and cheese distribution.  Oh, and sauce.  Yeah, that stuff.  The red stuff that makes it easier to swallow.  

As for the dough, I was pleasantly surprised.  This pan pizza could seriously give the legendary Pizza Hut pan pizza a run for the money.  Not only is it nicely flavored and textured, but the bottom retains its crispy texture without swimming in grease like its obvious competitor’s.  Not that the box-soaking grease levels are a bad thing.  It’s like grub lube.  But after eight or nine slices, it tends to get a bit much.  Which is why I’m giving the crust points to Domino’s.  Shockingly.

Also, Domino’s has better mushrooms than Pizza Hut.  The rest of the toppings, however, are individually up for debate.  As is the cheese.  And sauce.  In short, they’ve raised the bar up to meet and/or exceed the expectations set by the arguably best chain pan pizza around.  As for Papa John’s joke of a pan pizza?  It can’t hold a candle.


The Verdict
4/5.  At the price it is, it’s a steal.  However, that’s probably just an introductory promo price, which will go up later.  With that in mind, I’m classifying this a four.  I can’t in good faith say that I’d pay more than Pizza Hut’s offerings for a similar pizza.  Pizza Hut better take notice of this one, though.