Broke Bloke Gourmet: Spicy Tuna Nachos

It’s about that time, folks… time for me to share a bit of the culinary MacGyver-ing that I’ve been up to in the last month week.  Actually, I made this a few nights ago, but just haven’t gotten around to posting it up.  Because I’m lazy like that. 

This last Friday night, I found myself hungry, with no real possibilities in sight.  The only things that were sticking out in my pantry as not moldy or expired “edible” were a can of tuna and half a bag of tortilla chips.  Thus was the birth of…

Spicy Tuna Nachos!!!

Don't knock them before you try them.  I don't post my failed experiments (like the gin martini with hot dog water instead of olive brine) here, unless it's pointed mockery.  So here’s the dealie-o.

 yeah, yeah, so nearly everything in the picture is from Wal*Fart, gimme a break

Step 1:  Artfully arrange your tortilla chips on a plate so that they’re not overlapping much, but close enough together so that no large white spaces are showing through.  This is best done with care, and not dumping them on a plate and shaking it.  Which works, but your nachos will just suck.

Dump a small apocalypse of cheese onto the chips, as illustrated above.

the cup was for the tuna water.  mmmmm.   tuna water

Step 2:  Drain the tuna into a cup.  I meant the tuna water, not the actual fish.  Drink said tuna water.  Engage in salty fishy yummy noises of delight that mimic porn stars clydesdales in heat.  Okay, I suppose that part is optional.

Anyway, once your tuna is good and properly drained, drop little bits here and there around your nachoey-ness.  In the picture above, I only used about 1/3 of a “normal”-sized can of tuna, so your mileage may vary on how many plates of Spicy Tuna Nachos of Amazingness you’ll get out of a single can.

 more cheese

Step 3:  MOAR CHEEZ!!!

Then pop the sumbiotch into the microwave and nuke it for approximately 30 seconds or until cheese is melted.  Radiation cookers differ by wattage, so take that into consideration with your zapping time by consulting the chart below:

Wattage              Cook Time

=====              =======

1200W              26 seconds

1100W              30 seconds

1000W              34 seconds

900W                1.2 hours

please consult manufacturer instructions

before following these cook times.

Step 4:  Now that the highly dangerous cooking phase is completed, you can apply an artistic drizzle of your roommate’s hot salsa over the top.  Make sure to follow the precise pattern outlined above exactly to ensure maximum flavor.  Failure to do so will result in your death by tonsil cancer.  Or something.

And, last but not least….. GO EAT THEM ALREADY!!!