Contrary
to what some might think, I don't always eat lunch out. I have, over the years, made myself quite
familiar with the wide selection of 'budget' frozen meals, mostly because I'm frakkin'
broke trying to maintain a diverse catalogue of the varieties of junk food
available.
Over the
years, Michelina's has been a staple of the cheap frozen lunch freezer. Widely available, almost always a buck or
less each, simple instructions, and reliable flavor are all good things when
some foods from the ice chest makes one think Fluffy might be eating better
than you tonight. Plus, they have some
of the best frozen mashed potatoes around.
Observe its delicious boxy-ness!
Which
brings me to this - a new flavor! Well,
new to me, and considering how poor thoroughly I've been researching the
frozen aisles recently, that means 'launched in last week.' (Ed. This flavor isn't even listed on the
manufacturer's website yet, as of this writing.) So I was excited to see something friggin'
different their take on a favorite sauce.
After
following the provided instructions, I was all set to tear into this 8-oz.
package of potential yumminess with abandon.
The first thing I noticed was.. Hey, that doesn't smell like
Bolognese sauce! Which, if yer a
sauce, is, you know, kind of important.
You don't want your cheese sauce to smell like gravy, y'know? But hey, I tell myself, for 88 cents, I'll
give them a little artistic license. The
pasta twists - gemelli, for those pasta lovers out there - were rather gummy,
which is somewhat unusual for Michelina's;
they're usually quite good about their al dente. If that were the only issue, I could chalk it
up to 'cheap frozen crap food' and be done with it. But, as always, I'm not done yet..
The
sauce, for me, killed this one. If
you're going to make it a point to brag about Bolognese sauce (rather than,
say, call it 'pasta in tomato sauce' like their competitors), it should at
least taste something like Bolognese.
Remotely. As in, perhaps the same
ball park. Or ZIP code, for cryin' out
loud. This tasted like generic Marinara,
thinned down, with mushrooms and red pepper flakes added. What the firetruck? If you bite into an apple and it tastes like
pear, it screws with you. Even if you
know that it's a perfectly ripe pear you're tasting, you probably won't mess
with it again because an apple is supposed to taste like apple! This is not a difficult concept, but
apparently it was for their test kitchen.
Perhaps if they had labeled it "Pasta Spirals In Zesty Mushroom
Sauce," it would have worked. As it
is, it's just weird.
The
Verdict
2/5. It was edible; for those who don't know Bolognese, it might
be good. It's not making my grocery
list, though.
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