Saturday, June 9, 2012

Vol. 9: Michelina's Pasta Twists in Bolognese Sauce


Contrary to what some might think, I don't always eat lunch out.  I have, over the years, made myself quite familiar with the wide selection of 'budget' frozen meals, mostly because I'm frakkin' broke trying to maintain a diverse catalogue of the varieties of junk food available.

Over the years, Michelina's has been a staple of the cheap frozen lunch freezer.  Widely available, almost always a buck or less each, simple instructions, and reliable flavor are all good things when some foods from the ice chest makes one think Fluffy might be eating better than you tonight.  Plus, they have some of the best frozen mashed potatoes around. 


Observe its delicious boxy-ness!

Which brings me to this - a new flavor!  Well, new to me, and considering how poor thoroughly I've been researching the frozen aisles recently, that means 'launched in last week.'  (Ed. This flavor isn't even listed on the manufacturer's website yet, as of this writing.)  So I was excited to see something friggin' different their take on a favorite sauce. 

After following the provided instructions, I was all set to tear into this 8-oz. package of potential yumminess with abandon.  The first thing I noticed was.. Hey, that doesn't smell like Bolognese sauce!  Which, if yer a sauce, is, you know, kind of important.  You don't want your cheese sauce to smell like gravy, y'know?  But hey, I tell myself, for 88 cents, I'll give them a little artistic license.  The pasta twists - gemelli, for those pasta lovers out there - were rather gummy, which is somewhat unusual for Michelina's;  they're usually quite good about their al dente.  If that were the only issue, I could chalk it up to 'cheap frozen crap food' and be done with it.  But, as always, I'm not done yet..

The sauce, for me, killed this one.  If you're going to make it a point to brag about Bolognese sauce (rather than, say, call it 'pasta in tomato sauce' like their competitors), it should at least taste something like Bolognese.  Remotely.  As in, perhaps the same ball park.  Or ZIP code, for cryin' out loud.  This tasted like generic Marinara, thinned down, with mushrooms and red pepper flakes added.  What the firetruck?  If you bite into an apple and it tastes like pear, it screws with you.  Even if you know that it's a perfectly ripe pear you're tasting, you probably won't mess with it again because an apple is supposed to taste like apple!  This is not a difficult concept, but apparently it was for their test kitchen.  Perhaps if they had labeled it "Pasta Spirals In Zesty Mushroom Sauce," it would have worked.  As it is, it's just weird. 

The Verdict
2/5.  It was edible;  for those who don't know Bolognese, it might be good.  It's not making my grocery list, though.

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