Local Spotlight: Alannah’s Taqueria Super Burrito

So, technically, this isn’t an “official” Junk Food Junkie post, since it’s a locally owned restaurant that doesn’t meet the criteria for “regionally or nationally available.”  The beauty of 'teh interwebs' is that on this blog, I make the rules.  That also includes breaking the rules.  And this place is awesomesauce.  So go freakin’ bite me.

I’ve had their pulled pork burritos and tacos several times now, and each time I’m left with the feeling of happy belly nap time that they’re going to severely put a dent in the more “chain” burrito bar’s profits that are nearby (Moe’s, Salsarita’s, Qdoba, Chipotle). 

First off, just look at the size of this thing! 

You only wish your burrito was this big.

Yes, that is a penny on the foil for size comparison.  This has thrown down on the likes of the major burrito bars – of which I am quite fond of (see archive, -Ed.) and told them to go sit down in time out while it steals their women away in the night.  I kid you not, this thing has left the realm of “burrito sized” and has entered the realm of “forearm sized.”  Literally.  It probably weighs more than your forearm, too.  But stuffed in your belly, it’s so much more satisfying than a forearm.  No bones, either.

Of course, size isn’t everything, but it sure is helpful to be on the bigger end.  Snicker.  More important than sheer girth and length is the flavor, and there is nothing about this burrito that comes anywhere close to failing.  Being completely honest?  I ate plain tortilla.  Plain freakin’ tortilla.  And it was good.  I don’t know what kind of mystical Mexican magic they worked, here, but it’s amazing.  Oh, yeah, and it gets better – because there’s good $hit food inside the tortilla.

Hand-made real guacamole is the first thing I noticed, along with seasoned rice, delicious beans, fresh pico de gallo, perfectly seasoned pork and more, all put together with the masterful hand that knows better than to over-season any one ingredient (are you listening, Chipotle??).  In my expert lol and highly trained hands, I could tell this was somewhere in the realm of two and a half and seven thousand pounds of burrito perfection.

And I ate the whole thing.  In one sitting.  For the third time.  (Not in the same day.)

(Although I’d probably try, given the opportunity.)

So what if I looked nine months pregnant afterwards?  Most people didn’t notice.  I mean, I look eight months pregnant before lunch, anyway.

For those of you watching your weight (I watch mine too.. it climbs. –Ed.), this burrito could easily be divided into two “large” portions, or three “medium” portions, without skipping a beat.  Of course, I’m sure you’re also the people who think that renaming Lunchables as “Snackables” for false advertisement is a stupid idea, and the box of Kraft Dinner that says “serves 4-6” is actually “reasonable.”  Silly people.  And for the price?  You’d be daft to skip out without trying it.

Did I mention the unthinkably awesome fact that they deliver?  Yes, a taqueria that delivers.  In Chesapeake.  I’ve set up a charitable fund to help offset the cost of clothing my expanding waistline support spreading the Guacamole Gospel word while I greedily gobble these before the psycho [insert hated political party here] regime puts restrictions and warning labels on them. 

Oh, and their tacos and quesadillas are bangin’, too.  I’m thinking of getting their nachos, tomorrow.

Go do the Facebook thing with them at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Alannahs-Taqueria/127302720734019

The Verdict

5/5.  Burritos like this one at cookie cutter other local Mexican restaurants run you a whole lot more money, and are filled with a whole lot more suck less flavor.

Yes, I just censored my Verdict twice.  What?  Don’t judge me.

Photo credit to Deena C. since I didn’t stop to take a picture before inhalation.