Vol. 27: Banquet Rigatoni & Italian Sausage

So until I start getting some sick Google money for doing this blog, or some form of corporate sponsorship, or whatever, all the funding for things reviewed herein come out of my own pocket.

Unless I can scam someone into paying for me.

This means that, sadly, I do not get to consume the gloriously epic things like the Ruby Tuesday Bacon Avocado Turkey Burger every day.  (see archive, -Ed.)  And, let’s face it, low-end frozen food isn’t exactly stellar magic most of the time.  In fact, it’s pretty much crap about what you’d expect. 

Crap.

Yet, for some strange reason, I still get excited whenever I see a new “flavor” available in the dirt cheap economy frozen lines that grace many a broke budget-conscious employee’s freezer.  This happened recently, when I found this little gem hiding on a shelf at Wal*Mart:

Sadly, I didn’t even notice the bright yellow “New!” label until after I’d cooked it.  D’oh!

Immediately conjuring up visions of sugarplums good old-fashioned sliced Italian sausage and peppers over buttered bow-tie noodles, I started drooling and snatched it up straightaway.  Of course I tried it immediately.

The first thing you will say might remind you of an old Wendy’s advert.  In other words, “Where’s the beef?”  (Or in this case, sausage.  Whatever.  The sausage might have ground cow in it.  I don’t care enough to go look.)  After getting over the initial investigative shock to confirm that yes, in fact, there is meat in this flimsy plastic tray, and not just rigatoni and sauce, the second thing you’ll notice is that it smells exactly like every other Banquet that has their “marinara” sauce on it.  This list includes, but is not limited to, the following:

·         Spaghetti

·         Chicken Pasta Marinara

·         Lasagna with Meat Sauce

·         Macaroni & Beef

·         Spaghetti & Meatballs

·         Banquet Select Chicken Parmigian

·         Spaghetti with Popcorn Chicken

·         and MANY MORE!

Truth be told, the sauce is so bloody overpowering, it’s amazing that anyone can taste anything served with it.  Normally, this isn’t an issue, since it’s used sparingly in most dishes, but the rigatoni (with Italian sausage [?]) didn’t receive such consideration.  It was positively swimming in the sauce.  About the only way I was aware that I was actually consuming the Italian sausage [?] was the squeaky change in texture.  Could have told me it was just plain rigatoni and sauce and I wouldn’t have known the difference.

Is it bad?  No.  It’s certainly not a change of pace, either.  If you’re looking for something new, I’d recommend going with the Cheesy Rice & Beans with Chicken.  That’s like a Southwestern risotto and is actually pretty freakin’ good for a buck.

  

The Verdict

3/5.  I could see myself grabbing another one of these if the selection at Wal*Mart (or wherever) doesn’t have my normal grab-n-go stuff.  Odds are pretty even I’ll pick something else, though.. but I can’t give it a two of five since I could foresee myself (somewhat) willingly purchasing it again in the future.