It wasn’t
until I happened to log on to the Pizza Hut website, where I was graced with this
glorious concept, that I realized I hadn’t done a single pizza since the
creation of the Junk Food Junkie.
I
suppose that’s mostly because the best pizzas are always local places, which
don’t meat the “national or at least regionally available” criteria to be
included on this blog. But this idea was
just too good to pass up. Of course I
ordered one immediately. Duh? Are you surprised?
The official picture.
My actual pizza. Shout-out to my trusty Taco Bell
for size reference.
Garlic
is the #1 Unmeat in my book. I have been
known to eat cloves of garlic whole, in raw, pickled, or roasted form. And while I don’t have anything against
pepperoni, with the exception of a Meat Lover’s from Pizza Hut zomg I must
order a garlic bread meat lover’s tomorrow I tend to roll in the “sausage
and mushroom” camp.
I would
be lying if I claimed this was not exactly what I imagined it to be. Crispy-yet-tender buttery slices of garlic
bread smothered in cheese and sauce and meat and yum. If you’re not drooling at this point, then you
may need to check yourself into an insane asylum. The smell alone is enough to replace
Viagra for ED sufferers get people crawling out of the woodwork to make
nice with you for a chance at the offer of a piece.
Really,
I don’t know what more can be said. You
know you love garlic bread. You know you
love pizza. You know you want to do To Catch A Predator-type things to their
hybrid love child. Just try not to make
noises which might be interpreted as “sexual” if you’re eating it at the
office.
Your
coworkers will look at you funny.
The Verdict
4/5. Roughly about the size of a medium pan pizza
in terms of volume, for the current price of $8.99 it’s perfect. I’d probably have to hunker down for a coupon
if it went up much more than that, though.
But it’s a much cheaper investment than an Inflate-A-Date, and more gratifying,
too. The moans will prove it.
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